I’m the first to admit I’m not the most trend savvy girl. I catch onto a trend just as the cheap imitation version hits the racks in Kmart – when the look has been flogged to death and all the cool kids have moved on. I guess it’s because I don’t really look at fashion magazines or blogs. I slowly cotton on when I see multiple girls on the street rocking the same thing, and get my phone out to Google “why don’t girls put their arms in their jackets?” Yes, draping/coat slinging is totally a thing (and I’m about 4 years too late on that one).
I’m not a Target Country level dag, but in comparison to my friends I fear my looks are a little dated. I’m stubborn when it comes to fashion. I like my jumpsuits, I don’t care if their time has passed. I’m a high-waisted skinny jean girl, and will never wear a boyfriend cut or flares like the fierce fashionistas. I wear what I like, what suits me, irrespective of fleeting fads.
Maybe I’m turning into a fashion conservative, maybe I’m ignorant and uncool, but recently there have been a few trends that have left me utterly perplexed.
I was watching the Kardashians the other day, Kim had her tatas spilling outta some tacky looking lingerie, Adidas clip pants and stripper-style stilettos. Adidas clip pants? Shit, I didn’t even think these were even cool in the 90s - I just remember boys trying to rip them open to see my undies. I don’t get this gaudy, ratchet, street slut style. It’s ironic to look ghetto when you’re one of the richest women in contemporary society? What happened to class, to elegance, to leaving things to the imagination?
My biggest gripe is when people adopt trends that are majorly unflattering. I didn’t dare attempt the infamous bodycon dress because I knew squeezing into that shit made me look like an overstuffed sausage. So why wear jeggings when they accentuate all your giggly bits, or bleach your brows when they look beautiful big, brown and bushy.
I know, I shouldn’t be a hater, fashion is about being brave, bold and expressing yourself. Hell, I was an emo with a multi-coloured mullet not too long ago. Maybe it’s all to do with getting older; I’ve had my share of fashion faux pas and understand trends are transient, and unforgiving. I’m not going gung-ho into anything anymore; glitter roots, harem pants, floppy hats or active wear, because I know it’s only a matter of time before that shit is cringe.
I wear stuff that suits my body; so no can do crop top – unless you want a white womb wobbling about. And things that have stood the test of time; a Twiggy-esque black tights/short dress, a classic leather jacket, or standard white tee. Sure, it’s safe, maybe a little boring, but at least it won't cause me any embarrassment in the future.
Man, if only I was this wise at 16, I could’ve avoided that whole gelled hair fiasco and my oh so passé nautical star tattoo.