My mum always said I was a child of routine. I thrived when I had structure and repetition. In fact, each night she would give me 10 pats and 10 strokes on my back to send me to sleep. Monotony comforted me. I thought that as I got older, this trait would subside. I would start to seek out variety and douse my days with the spice of life. It hasn’t. If anything, I’ve become an even bigger creature of habit. I wake up at the same time every day, do the same 30 minutes of HIIT or pilates, make my morning coffee and start work. My evenings are as equally predictable with wine and Drag Race the without fail staples.
Ollie hates this. Well, let me rephrase, he doesn’t understand it, especially when it comes to food. In my late twenties, I went through a phase where I ate a Cup-a-Soup every day for lunch. Not as some weird weight-loss thing. Not even to show my overt discipline. I just started doing it and never stopped. OK, I stopped after a year or so when Ollie pointed out the sodium content of said soup.
I’ve done a similar thing with protein shakes, shots of apple cider vinegar and porridge (that’s oatmeal for you Americans). I have no qualms about eating or drinking the same thing over and over for months on end. The unvarying G&T with a sprig of rosemary never bores me, even if I pour it every Friday night. Neither does red wine, obviously.
I’m happy to rinse and repeat activities, too. Actually, I’m currently practicing meditation at the same time each evening. I was spurred on after seeing the Headspace documentary on Netflix, which is amazing by the way. I ride my exercise bike religiously and I’ve been a consistent daily runner, though stopped recently thanks to the New York winter and dodgy knees. I’ve also had no trouble incorporating collagen powder into my daily routine on the advice of a certain Khloe.
Although, as I’m writing this, I notice that a lot of these rituals have been retired. I may have an unwavering ability to stick to XYZ initially, but that dedication invariably fades when I become enamored with something new. Perhaps that says less about my steadfast nature and more about my proclivity to fall for fads. Seriously, you name a thing, from the lemon detox diet to Bikram yoga, and I’ve surely tried it. Not just tried it, gone gung-ho at it.
I also realize that a lot of these things seem to be health-related. I definitely don’t have this die-hard commitment when it comes to stuff that’s difficult or annoying yet important to me. In fact, I’ve been challenging myself to write recreationally each day for 30 minutes and it’s yet to happen. Similarly, my afternoon paint-by-numbers sessions turned out to be a total flop. And I only wish I could be so militant when it comes to regularly polishing my boots or doing the shopping. But, hey, you can’t win them all.
For me, I think it’s about achieving consistency with the little things; finding repetitious rhythms in the minutiae of everyday life. That simple sun salutation each morning makes me feel in control even if the rest of my day is topsy-turvy. That half-hour of exercise instills a sense of accomplishment even if it’s punctuated with lunchtime pizza. It all brings a level of contentment that I seem to value more with age.
As a thirty-something—god, that hurts to write—I care more for predictability and reliability than I do for spontaneity. I love that parts of my life with Ollie remain unchanged no matter which city we live in or what anniversary we might be celebrating. I adore that our early bird dinner is served with a side of Netflix promptly at 6 pm sharp; that our Saturday morning is for cleaning and Sunday is earmarked for sleep-ins. Gone are the days of off-the-cuff date nights, my heart melts instead at the sight of my infallible mid-morning peppermint tea, which always tastes better when prepared by Ollie. And, you know what? He still gives me the same 10 pats and 10 strokes when I’m struggling to sleep. How’s that for full circle.
(Also, unrelated, I just cut myself bangs again like I had in this photo. That's me at the front and my sister Bin.)
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