“Should we have dinner out on Friday night instead - you have a raid tonight right?”
This was the last text I sent Ollie and moments after sending I thought to myself, who the fuck have I become. At the moment Ollie is obsessed with a game called Everquest (EQ); it involves scheduled attacks (raids) which he just can’t miss. In these raids you get special items and gain XP that’s unparalleled in normal gameplay. I know all of this because I’m the partner of a gamer, and for anyone out there who finds themselves in similar situation - here’s what I’ve learned.
Time sensitive, team games are your worst nightmare. Dota 2 – I’m looking at you. It doesn’t matter if I’ve cooked a three course feast, I’m lying naked in bed or I’m in some kind of emergency; like needing toilet paper (I sat stranded for over 15 minutes), the game cannot be paused. Pausing means you pause the entire game for both teams – so unnecessary pausing stalls gameplay and unleashes a wrath of shit talking. And if you quit a game you’re penalised by being bumped down in game priority and calibre, so you end up playing with a bunch of noobs (quite possibly me included). Once I played Dota I understood, I understood but it didn’t make eating a dinner I’d prepared for two, alone, any easier.
Dating a gamer means you also have to deal with incessant mouse clicking, erratic outbursts of rage and profanities (inc. slamming of keyboard). Recently Ollie was playing a co-op pirate game with friends and I had to listen to him impersonate a camp sailor with an English accent all night as he screamed WE’RE GOING DOWN BOYYYYSSS. Actually, that was pretty entertaining.
There’s the unrestrained splashing of cash on intangible items, the late nights gaming which mean I fall asleep alone, and the accumulation of energy drinks and snacks that transforms one corner of our house into a dirty neckbeard nest.
But let’s talk positives, because really, there are a lot. Gaming is better than a lot of other harmful hobbies or boyish vices. At least Ollie isn’t out drinking all night at a titty bar, he’s home with me. He’s home with me but I still get total control of the TV and can watch Cats: The Musical as many times as I damn please. I know I’ll always have a high speed internet connection, and someone who can quash computer viruses with ease. And I get to benefit when Ollie wants to spend a pretty penny on the new Nintendo Switch, or flash TV.
What’s more, I’m fascinated by his stories and the characters in his games. He’ll keep me updated with an explorer turned cannibal artist making sculptures from flesh - who went crazy when she contracted worms (Rimworld), and talk through the complexities of the raids his ogre Big Boy is attempting in EQ. He picks out all the things he knows I’ll like and explains them to me in a wholly fascinating way. I admire his skill and it is fun to watch him dominate. His brother Tom is equally as fun to watch and has just started his own EQ Youtube channel for his character Pikn Potatoes – it’s killer. Shameless plug.
I’ve learnt to appreciate and respect his passion – and I think that’s the key. I mean who am I to judge, while he’s gaming I’m watching the fucking Kardashians.