After a tumultuous start to year; death, drama and Donald Trump, I decided on a new New Year’s resolution. Along with my always on the list but never achieved lose weight and be healthy, would be: work on making my down time count. Last year, my midweek nights all blurred into one. I’d come home from work, tired and unmotivated, binge watch trash TV, eat too much cheese, drink all the wine. Then rinse and repeat. I felt wildly unproductive, I knew in my sloth-like state I was letting valuable time slip through my fingers.
Sitting on my bed a few vinos in, I penned a list of potential after work activities – aiming for both pleasurable and productive. Max was sitting, staring knowingly, he seemed almost amused at my desperation to be active.
After work ART. My blessed ALDI had a back to school special on, so I picked up some coloured pencils, textas and an art diary for dirt cheap. I envisioned myself elegantly perched on the balcony, drawing effortlessly with natural fluidity and grace.
Then I realised I can’t fucking draw.
I’m not sure if it’s one of those skills that fades away with no practice - I don’t remember being so god awful in high school. But I was really crap; my figures were disproportioned, lines uneven, colours mismatched.
Nothing I had in my head was coming out the way I wanted. I felt annoyed and frustrated by the whole experience. After a good 30 minutes of sulking, I had another attempt. This time I retreated to the comfortable land of abstract - where things didn’t have to look exact. I created some alien-esque blobs with my black felt tip pen. I spent time colouring carefully between the lines – and at last felt a sense of gratification. I’d heard of adult colouring-in and assumed it was some sort of hack bullshit – turns out I’m a fan. It’s as advertised; super chill and super Zen.
Lynda after a long day. Another grandiose plan was to continue my education each evening by completing a Lynda tutorial on whatever. After one attempt, this plan was indefinitely retired. Even logging on to Lynda shit me in my hangry please refrain from engulfing whole cheese block state. I couldn’t focus on the grating American accent delivering After Effects related gobbledygook, and I just didn’t feel like more screen time after staring at my computer all day at work.
I’ve since found an alternative way to learn new things and stay informed. The Stuff you Should Know podcast; two nerds with soothing tones discuss a whole range of topics and explain how things work from puberty to the gender pay gap. I put it on when I’m cooking, colouring or riding to work. I feel like I’m gaining knowledge and getting more worldly, plus I now have a stack of weird and wonderful facts at the ready.
I do want to spend more time writing and continue learning Japanese. I’ve taken additional exercise off the list - I mean my post work lethargy levels make it near impossible anyway.
I guess it’s all about finding balance. Being motivated and productive whilst being kind to yourself. Having that relaxation time, but not sliding into that vegetative state that leaves you with nothing but an indentation in your couch.