I really don’t know what constitutes a hipster, or whether I fit the American Apparel-esque mould. There are days when I’m riding my pretty pastel green bike, with my oversized round spectacles on, fresh flowers in my wicker basket and a cute asymmetrical fringe, and I think damn girl you so hipster. Then there are the days when I wear jeans with joggers in an unironic way, and really couldn’t be further from the fashion savvy counter culture. I also really like to eat processed plastic cheese, and listen to top 40 pop on occasion. I never got into floppy felt hats, and the thought of getting a septum piercing makes me feel physically ill. I’m definitely not cool enough to be a hipster, and that’s fine, it’s not like there’s a shortage in Surry Hills.
I know Hipsters are responsible for re-introducing or popularising a lot of really cool shit. Some people think this makes them hacks, but I'm all for it. I like that vinyl is back in vogue and you can by a rip off vintage record player from JB Hi Fi. I like that fancy pants fixies have become a favoured form of transport and play a part in reducing carbon emissions. I like that artisan practices are now favoured; craft beer brewing, pickling, knitting. Still there are some things that really irritate me about hipsters/hipster culture, like...
Judging my drink choice. I love Hendricks gin, will happily order an old fashion, and I understand and appreciate good wine. I also really like a good bartender who can make a recommendation when I am struggling to make a decision (like all the time). But I hate it when said bushy bearded bartender decides to give me sass if I order a vodka soda. I get it, you don’t think this is a real drink, it’s a drink for basic bitches. Well, let’s unpack this a little. Maybe I’m trying to watch my weight, maybe I’m out to get white girl wasted, maybe I have a raging hangover from the night before and vodka is the only spirit still on my good list. So take your judgemental stare and smart arse comments, and make it a double.
Ruining things with irony. OK, it’s cool if you like things ironically. Drink as much PBR as you like, pretend you’re on the set of fucking Blue Velvet but then don’t jack up the price of a pretty average, stock-standard beer, don’t ruin it for the rest of us. And sure, wear as many loud and audacious printed shirts as you like, but don’t set up vintage stores, rape the local vinnies and resell the apparel for 3 times the price. Looking at you C’s Flashback. The thrift shops in Sydney have been so pillaged by hipsters all that's left is size 20 wedding dresses and mismatched plate sets.
Coffee snobbery. Ok this is coming from a girl who likes her coffee in a can, Japanese style. I’m more of a tea drinker to be honest. Coffee just wreaks havoc on my guts. But seriously, it’s like I’m committing some big time cultural blasphemy every time I tell someone I don't really drink coffee; “Really? Coffee is my life, I couldn’t function without it”. The first time I ordered an espresso I was wildly confused; I thought the waiter had fucked up and brought me someone else's sparkling water. Wait, what, you’re meant to cleanse your palette? What a complete toss.
I do kind of respect the balls to the wall attitude hipsters have, the full on commitment they have to their style or passion. There's no way I could dress in rockabilly everyday, or run a raw food vegan cafe. And, hey they're keeping things interesting.