I’m pretty generous with my compliments; they flow indiscriminately, fast and free, but are usually quite considered. I put thought into them and try to deliver them in a meaningful manner. I’ve always been a compliment giver, at first I think like everyone I used them as a way to make friends. Or as a way to break the ice and inspire small talk. But then I came to see the power of compliments. I had some really profound moments where compliments were given to me unexpectedly, when I was feeling really down or insecure, and they totally turned my day around. You know those really deep, personalised comments, just for you. They hit you in the feels and give you the warm fuzzies, like chicken soup for your soul. I like to think the compliments I give are that touching.
Sadly, some people have simply not mastered the art of delivering compliments. Listed below are those I deem to be the worst offenders:
All Comment, no compliment. Today I wore my neon pink knitted jumper to work; it’s a total 80’s-esque atrocity which should really never be worn in public. I call it my comfort jumper, it’s soft, warm and its garish tone makes me happy. I’ve been feeling really shit this week, battling this bloomin’ cold, and I just needed my pink polyester blended layer of protection to pull me through the work day. It did the trick, kept me toasty and content but I got so many bloody comments. I say comments not compliments because there is a clear distinction. I think comment makers believe they’re giving a compliment or being polite, but really they’re just being ass holes. It’s like they go for a compliment, but then have a brain fart or can’t work out the appropriate way to end the sentence graciously. They drop the sarcastic, witty one-liners; “Woah, that’s a bright jumper” or “Wow, we won’t miss you today” then walk away and leave you questioning your life choices. It’s not hard to turn a comment into a compliment, just add “…and that colour looks great on you”, even if it doesn’t, do you really want to be the nunce making a joke at someone else’s expense.
Backhanded Bitches. This catty crew deliver cutting compliments which could fit in the script of Mean Girls. It’s sass with a smile. My favourite recently was a comment I received whilst wearing a bright green dress. (Note to self: must stop wearing such bolshy colours). A friend, turned acquaintance after this incident, gushed “Rach that dress looks great on you….I didn’t think that green would work with pale skin”. Translation: You have really fucking white skin. Cheers mate.
False Admirers. Like the Backhanded Bitches, these people inadvertently piss all over you. They feign some sort of admiration to get away with being totally condescending. If you wear a low cut top they’re the ones that call you brave when they’re really thinking you look like a two dollar hooker. They’ll act all self-depreciating and say things like “I wish I was outspoken as you” indirectly inferring you’re a rude and over-talkative prat.
The Braggy Bunch. These people really only compliment you so they have an opportunity to brag about their own achievements or belongings. Yep, it’s just one big dick measuring contest with this lot; “Congratulations on finishing your BA, I remember when I finished my PHD…”, “It’s cool you’re into that band, I liked them when they first came out” or “I like your sunnies, I have the real Karen Walker ones”, these people are pissy and patronising and aren’t interested in singing your praises.
So, if you’re one of the aforementioned, you need to remember that old adage from yo’ Mumma: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Peace.