I think I have like max. 6 close girlfriends, and 1 doesn’t count as it’s my sister Bin. At times I feel that makes me a weird fucking loser. Occasionally Ollie will say why don’t you ask your friends over? What’re your friends up to? Like I have a harem of hot chicks at the ready to come over join me for pillow fights and facials, when he knows full well there ain’t that long a list.
When I moved from Bathurst I lost my network of gal pals, and to be honest there wasn’t that much of a network there to loose. I changed groups a lot in high school, spent time solo in the art room at lunch when I was grappling with being an emo, so didn’t really secure those life-long friends. The good relationships I managed to foster have now become stretched purely because of distance; the fact Bathurst is in the middle of nowhere and I rarely go back to visit. Relationships take work and effort, the less I saw my friends, the less we knew about each other and our respective lives. This doesn’t mean we don’t still care for each other, but it’s just not the same when you don’t have the proximity and connection.
Lucky for me I’ve met some really fantastic women in Sydney; a couple at work, a couple through my sister and a few through Ollie. They’re from diverse backgrounds, have eclectic interests, they challenge me, support me, and basically they’re straight up queens. I had space in my life to welcome them with open arms, or to be more precise clutch at them desperately and drag them into my world.
I think my feeble friendship clique, is also partially due to the fact I no longer suffer fools. Since I’m comfortable with who I am and know what I like, I’m a lot more selective with who I share my time with. I don’t like girls that bitch, offload their problems but don’t listen to yours, or talk about food, diet or exercise a noxious amount. I do like girls that have stimulating chat, that make me feel good about myself, and drink wine as quickly as I do so I don’t feel self-conscious.
My star sign (yes I believe in that racket) is also somewhat liable for my limited list of lady friends. Scorpios are pretty black and white; if you cross me, or do something to hurt me no matter how small, you’re dead to me. My warmth and lightness will shut off as quickly as it sparked. I know this sounds harsh, but it’s the way I’m wired. Conversely, I’m loyal AF. If I’m on your side, I’ll never stray. I’ll do what you need, when you need.
Ollie has a really solid group of friends he grew up with, I think he’s still friends with people he went to primary school with. Sometimes I’m envious I don’t have relationships that have lasted that long. I don’t share deep histories with my friends; I don’t have millions of in-jokes, sentimental memories that stretch back years, or that familiarity with your friend’s ma & pa that comes with time.
But in a way I think this is a blessing, we have a clean slate, no baggage or hang ups. My relationships are intense, honest and truthful. We make up for that lost time by being open and vulnerable, revealing ourselves with no inhibitions. We’re friends now, and it’s not by default. Not because we lived in the same area our whole lives or our parents used to get drunk together, but because we choose to be.
And I think that’s fantastic.
