After my last big breakup I lived in my own studio apartment and I loved it. Living solo is something I think everybody should experience, even for the no pants factor alone.
Don’t get me wrong, at times it was really fucking hard. There were days my heart was heavy and I felt like the loneliest girl on the planet. The bad nights, I would down two bottles of red and order Dominos; desperate for human connection I would often invite the delivery boys in for a glass of wine. They all declined. I wonder if it was my smudged mascara puffy panda eyes, my red wine moustache, the fact I had Lost in Translation on loop, or the sheer desperation heard in my voice.
Another low point involved me catnapping my neighbour’s cat. I baited him with tuna, cuddled him intently for a whole day, my tears soaking his ginger coat. He was my new best friend, until he escaped when I was on the way to get my nightly bachelor feast, Ericyes’ Iskender Kebab. I know, I sound like a bona fide bunny boiler.
The point is I got through those times, and came out a better, stronger woman. The positives of living alone far outweigh the sad and desperado times. This solo stint really helped me figure myself out. I had time and space to process things that had happened in my past and work out what I wanted next; what kind of woman I wanted to become.
Plus you can be selfish AF. It’s all about you in every way.
You can create a living quarters attuned to your personal aesthetic, in my case this involved many Twiggy posters and scented candles.
You don’t have to consider what your room mate or partner would like for dinner, you just grab what you want and eat. For me, it was copious amounts of a dish I now fondly refer to as single white girl pasta. There’s nothing classy about this dish, it’s not fresh pasta with fancy pants French cheese. It’s the cheap shit straight from packet, lashings of Lurpak, generous handfuls of Coon and an unhealthy amount of salt. Mmm Delicious.
You can also watch whatever you want, you don’t have to wait for the household to catch up on any episodes, and there is no one there to judge you when you binge watch the latest House Wives of whatever.
You learn what you truly like. Uncensored and unashamed.
Being unattached; free with no dependants or a partner can make you feel insignificant or unsettled. It sucks when something is funny and you have no one to laugh with. But I’m so glad I had this experience, it made me feel like when I met the right person they would get the real Rachel. A Rachel who is confident, knows what she likes and takes no shit.
I love living with Ollie, I love our house and our baby Max, we’ve got a good thing. We are with each other, but he still lets me eat my single girl pasta and watch the OC whenever I like.