My sister Bin is basically queen of makeup, her toiletry case is chockfull of premium cosmetics; Chanel, YSL, Mac and more. I also have a seriously stylish semi sister in law Soph, who is totally on trend with the latest Kylie Jenner lip kits and Urban Decay palettes. I really like makeup, the act of applying it and the end result. It makes me feel good. But I’m borderline bogan in terms of the products I procure and possess.
I buy all of my makeup from Discount Chemist and I never pay more than $15 for an item. Actually I recently started using foundation from Aldi, it’s pretty decent and only $7 bucks. I’m sure this makeup is full of horrible chemicals which will wreak havoc on my skin, but it’s cheap and does the trick.
I feel largely inadequate when I compare my makeup to other girls. I see all the fancy beauty products, Frank body scrub or Aesop hand cream, and I want to have them but I just can’t justify spending the cash. Anything expensive I own has been gifted to me; a Bobbi Brown lipstick from my girlfriend Emma, or Crabtree & Evelyn cream from Ollie’s mum. I treasure these things and when I use them understand why people pay the high price.
Luckily, even though I use cheap shit I’m OK in terms of the application. I don’t look like I’ve copped a shot from Homer’s makeup gun at least. But I’ve pretty much been doing the same make up style my whole adult life. Winged eyeliner, thick lashes, red lips. Recently I’ve been experimenting (like every other girl on the planet) with darker brows. I don’t really care if my winged eyeliner is outdated, over the top, or uncool. I like it, and honestly if you’ve found something that enhances your natural features and makes you feel good you should roll with it.
I have pretty long lashes which I like to layer with mascara. I know people think they look like spider legs, they’re thick and a little clumpy at times. But I’ve been a fan of exaggerated lashes since I first laid eyes on Twiggy, I even find the full on falsies in Geordie Shore fantastic. Occasionally I ask Ollie if he thinks I wear too much makeup. Like most men, he says he prefers me to be el natural, but likes a cheeky cat eye on occasion.
My beauty regime really only involves plucking my brows, and usually I’ve left them so long they’re verging on Frida Kahlo status. I will occasionally do a facemask when I’m really fucking bored. I don’t do anything that involves time or effort. I got laser hair removal just so I could stop shaving. I rarely paint my finger nails because the upkeep involved drives me crazy. My feet, more like un-manicured talons get no love. Mum has tried to rectify this by gifting me a Hero’s Chiropody sponge every year for Christmas.
Some people love pampering, they like to treat themselves, it’s therapeutic and relaxing. I prefer wine and Netflix. I’m also OK being a cosmetics chav; we all know the billion dollar beauty industry is bullshit. Premium products, or a finessed face doesn’t make someone a nice person. Beauty is only skin deep.