I know my big breasted besties might throw shade at me for this, but I think bras are annoying AF and I like to unleash my tatas as often as I can.
I come from a family of big boobs, my beautiful buxom mum got the nickname Tit-a-rini in high school, a play on her Italian surname Venturini and reference to her full chest. Two of my gorgeous sisters were blessed with double Ds, so I don’t really know what happened to me. I’m somewhere in between mosquito bites and mountainous mammaries, an unexciting 10C.
My boobs are dead average, smack bang in the middle of the two extremes. This is kind of an annoying size. I’m too big to fit into strappy Sass & Bide lingerie but too small to warrant full blown Berlei support. Plus because my size is so common bras are usually out of stock, or I have to fight a bitch in the dressing room to get the last C cup on sale.
My size does mean I can get away with wearing no bra, something I love to do. I mean if I could get away with rockin’ a muumuu and nothing else I would. I’ve always hated tight, constrictive clothing and undergarments that dig in. Yet I feel like going bra less is not kosher, or is somewhat condemned. Like if someone sees a stiff nipple, or a bit of a jiggle, it’s not OK. Other girls get jealous or annoyed, and boys can’t stop looking. I don’t understand why a girl being el natural is deemed slutty but the ones wearing midriff tops and short shorts pass unscathed.
Lucky for me I’ve found an Elle McPherson bra that literally feels like I’m wearing nothing, so I can conform to a pro-bra society and still be super comfy. Everybody wins. This bra has underwire for support and elasticised mesh fabric to keep things in place. It’s the only bra I like to wear (I now own it in four colours), and still as soon as I get home it’s thrown at the floor in a lavish act of rebellion.
My dream bra still shows stiff nips, which is somewhat problematic when you work in an office with arctic air-conditioning. But I’m at a stage now where I just don’t care, I’m comfortable and I don’t care if that makes you feel uncomfortable. Everybody has nipples guys, even cats. Get over it. I’ve tried padded bras in the past to prevent this problem. But I find anything I wear that’s padded or push up, gives me cleavage that looks like two smooshed together ass cheeks. See below, me as Amy Winehouse for proof.
I understand the arguments for wearing bras, I remember being told Marilyn Monroe wore a bra every day to give her breasts that iconic shape and help them stay perky. I have friends that absolutely need to wear bras because their funbags are not so fun. I get the support factor and the sag prevention. I also fully appreciate the sports bra and there is no way I could or would run without one. I just want people to know that sometimes the small titty big dogs of the world like to wear no bras, simply because it feels good.